Saturday, May 24, 2014

Lilith II

Why am I the one who has to be brave?
To endlessly place one foot, firmly in front of the other
Banished to the rocky outcrops
Alone, fragile, mourning, hating
Surviving on wits,
Thriving on the pickings like carrion birds
Scavenging over long dead morsels
Feeling no honour as I steal in the night
Mourning a life that was never provided
Forlorn in the hope of vindication.

I can only be me.

Should I blame you for not loving me
And abandoning me at a time of contempt?
Or should I blame myself for not fighting harder
Wearing the shame and hatred as my banner
For the rest of the planet to see.
Woman wounded, victim or instigator,
The whore to the mother.
The bully to the scapegoat,
The story changes with time and heartbeat,
The narrative wanders over the world.

I can only be me.

The woman you fear as she bleeds
The woman you hate as she stands against you
The woman you try to suppress with your slaps
Your words and your silence.

I can only be me.

Placing one foot in front of the other
Stoic, mourning, willful.
And brave.

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Little Star

Looking out, looking back in time,
Before the wrinkles, the grey hairs, the bills,
The too wet/too dry/too hot/too cold
Of the weatherman’s drone,
Back before the humdrum was ordinary
And the ordinary was unwanted
And life was measured between pints of beer
Scoreless draws and delayed trains.
We go back further, looking skyward,
Back to the essays and endless conversations
Of Jude the Obscure and Robespierre
And how the Proletariat will never win
And how Thatcher stole milk
And how scraped knees and hopscotch were far more
Important than the nightly news.
Back to the time of short pants, Sunday best,
Weekend roasts with grandma, cloth nappies
Hand knits, bowl cuts and standing quietly
Never saying a word. Adored, held, safe, secure, sleep.
Then gasp, BANG! Heartbeats. Then Silence.

The little star, out there, somewhere,
Looks forward towards time, towards you.
Seeing the potential as it searches the universe for signs
A light that you may or may not see.

You both scan the dark, where your gazes
Will meet, somewhere in the middle of time.